And you shall love the Lord your God out of and with your whole heart and out of and with all your soul (your life) and out of and with all your mind (with your faculty of thought and your moral understanding) and out of and with all your strength. This is the first and principal commandment.
When loving God like that, we adjust to what He requires from us. We ultimately deal with God, do things His way and the relationship wins. Submit to God. Love God enough to do what He asks in marriage. Loving God must be first priority. He empowers us to change. He tells u’s how to change. And most of all, God keeps us from being ultimately in charge. If we choose to be in charge, we’ll do it our way, and our own limitations will become the limitations of the relationship as well.
Recommended resource: Boundaries in Marriage by Cloud and Townsend